|"Kaiju" is Japanese for "giant monster". "Haiku" is Japanese for "little poem". "Review" is Japanese for -- well, possibly "my aunt's hat" or "a small fish that is mostly poisonous" -- I don't know, I don't speak Japanese. But in English, it means "my opinion, and you'll darn well like it".
Please feel free to submit Kaiju Haiku of your own to email@example.com, and I'll post 'em here. Remember, the rules are:
a) must be about a giant monster movie (or reasonably large monster, heck, any movie that has a decent monster in it...I am not counting the horrifically cute and perky Meg Ryan),
b) probably doesn't rhyme,
c) 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.
This one comes crawling over from Ben Marzinski:
THE GIANT GILA MONSTER (1959)
Why can't the monster
Just eat the guy who plays that