a) must be about a giant monster movie (or reasonably large monster, heck, any movie that has a decent monster in it...I am not counting the horrifically cute and perky Meg Ryan),
b) probably doesn't rhyme,
c) 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.

Death by spider would be a just revenge for those annoying commercials:

EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS (2002)

"1-800-NEED
DDT!"...David Arquette
makes a call for help